Teed Off On Groundhog Day
Posted by The Club President on February 2, 2025 at 12:00 PM
How dare you, interlopers?! Intrude on my Country Club, will you? Do you have any idea what you've done?!
Just today, I was teeing off and sharpening my backswing. A great success, as usual – I sailed in a birdie. However, as I was getting my customary congratulations from the Corporate Raiders, a gopher grabbed the ball from out of the hole and ran off! Blasted thing cost me my 9 Iron, too – when I cracked it in half over my knee.
Unbelievable, my Country Club has a gopher infestation.
I know it was you, Toons. You can’t just run around kicking up clumps of dirt and causing a ruckus attracting these subterranean menaces. This Golf Course is not a playground, it’s my place of refuge! When it’s me, my club, and the ball, I’m able to relish the boredom. To cherish it! It’s unacceptable for these gophers to ruin my investment AND my “me” time!
It’s time to downsize. The C.E.O. knows how to play ball, but so do I. And I always win. So – we’ve authorized drastic measures. As we speak, Downsizers and Head Hunters are storming your streets for a day-long Mega-Invasion. Yes, and on Groundhog Day nonetheless! Now you’ll think twice before attracting groundhogs onto my course! Gophers, I mean, not groundhogs. I can’t even think straight, I’m so angry!
Just for that little hiccup, I’ll tack a few version 2.0 Bossbots onto the invasion as well. All the Resistance Rangers in the world won’t be enough for that, so they'd better not interfere! As for your tripled Gag Experience during this and all future Mega-Invasions, know that no amount of fun can substitute for the humdrum I've brought. Resist as you will, but remember...
Bogeys like you stand no chance against a birdie like me!
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I'm worried about those gophers. Bossbot HQ is WAY too dangerous, especially for burrowing. I don't think the gophers can safely get out of there either, they were probably already there when the place was built. I've been wanting to relocate them, but you wouldn't let me. Just... Calmly stand in front of this TNT, hold VERY still, and then I can take care of your rodent problem.
Fun Fact: In the movie, "Groundhog Day", onscreen February 2nd repeats 32 times. Oh, and speaking of the movie... Ahem. "NED?" *Punches the Club President with a Whole Cream Pie.*
Downsizing, eh? Well, guess what, Miss President... I've just UP-sized my lure big-time!!! (I MAXED!!!) You'll be bogeyin' on down to the scrapyard when I'm finished with you! (Thanks guys, the triple experience rocks!!!)
Club President?... CLUB PRESIDENT?! Hey, Club President, I THOUGHT that was you! Now don't tell me you don't remember me, 'cause I sure as heck remember you! Barget! WONDERSNOUT! Big-Nose Barget? Barget the Big Blue Bow-wow? Come on Miss, Bossbot HQ! Barget Wondersnout! I threw a wedding cake at your Downsizers! BING! I won "Best Picture" at the TOONYs! BING AGAIN! Well hey, I sell jellybean seltzer now. Jellybeans and seltzer are the best combo in the world! Am I right or am I right or am I right?! Heh-heh, oh man, it is just so good to see you, Club President! *KA-BOOM!* Ha-ha, watch out for that dynamite! It's a doozy! HAH!
Will this effect the King Knuckles Kookyklunk Legacy?
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Happy Groundhog Day! In Bossbot HQ I wish they were all red moles
Happy Groundhog Day everybody! (Also, TRIPLE GAG EXPERIENCE WOOHOOOOOO!)