Foreman's Labor Day Felicitations
Posted by The Factory Foreman on September 2, 2024 at 2:00 PM
Work harder, not smarter.
So, Toons. You insist on gumming up my well-oiled machines – my Scrap and Steel Factories? My presence doesn’t deter you?! Very well. It’s a shame. I believed you would’ve seen the value of a hard day’s work by now. Fortunately, what better day than Labor Day to show you the fruits of the assembly line?
See, just yesterday, The Boss called me into his office – I assumed to thoroughly examine our new budget. I was not so lucky. He was outraged, thanks to the lot of you! He blames me for an uptick in Toon interference. Factory slowdown leads to fewer Sellbots, lesser sales abilities, and smaller profit margins – which means no golden parachute for me! Err… ignore that last part.
So now, I’ll take the grind to you. That’s right. Get those line graphs soaring! Keep those figures racing! Make those quotas quicker! As we speak, my Glad Handers and Movers & Shakers are descending from on high for a Mega-Invasion!
Perhaps you’ll learn a thing or two. There’s just been a job opening in the Oil Room after I laid off a slacker. Maybe I’ll have my employees hand out applications once you come to your senses. Otherwise, if you Toons continue this blasted tomfoolery, expect more invasions from my fellow Supervisors next year. Mark my words, they will not be as lenient as I.
Minor setbacks aside, production will continue as planned. There will be no escape from my drudgery! Except for those infernal Safe Districts, blasted things. “Safety” is the very enemy of efficiency – don’t listen to what that meddling Franz Neckvein tells you. I cut safety initiatives out of my Factory’s budget by 63% and quotas were met 2% faster! It was an important lesson learned, and soon you’ll learn it too.
The beauty of my plan, Toons, is that your so-called “Resistance Rangers” will be out to help. I’m sure of it. Little do they realize… they’ll have fallen right into my trap! They will surely make spectacular workers on the conveyor line when they see things our way. I think I’ll appoint your Lord Lowden Clear to be my Warehouse watchdog. Yes, the very thought of the resulting charts & graphs warms my heart – metaphorically speaking, of course.
Make sure to bring your excellent work ethic with you to the streets, Toons. The recruitment process has begun.
Now, get back to work!
Comments
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Aww... he's so dumb. He thinks labor day means MORE labor.
This photo makes it look like one big epic anime battle intro of some kind I'm not gonna lie.
I've always thought of a Glad Hander and those Mover And Shakers like this, A Glad Hander and Mover And Shaker are merely a Cold Caller and Telemarketer whom evolved into proper company employees. One shakes you by the hand, the other shakes you by the feet. A Cold Caller whom found the warmth in his heart after getting the big sale and shaking on the sale, a Telemarketer who decided it was time to grow that terrible mustache at long last and put that bit of quake in his step to celebrate. Shakers though... Even I tremble at the thought of them, and I'm simply a Sellbot fanatic. Say what you may about The Mingler, The Mover And Shaker is by far the most dangerous Sellbot in the Field Offices. Once he starts shaking, the entire Annex may as well topple over. Dangerous. Yet here I sit in Kaboomberg, still trying by best those in the 4 Star for a proper seat with the Directors Of Stocks And Sale dressed as a Cold Caller 2.0, yet still, I cannot best them. Suppose I'll spend the rest of the day fixing a pipe or two in the Steel Factory for Merits. Well, despite all that, Happy Labor Day to all! Oh, and before I forget, could the Foreman please hand me an application? I may try to Two-Face my way into the higher ranks. Toon by day, Cog Disguise by night. Hah! Then I'd have double merits.
Why not work smarter? Do not both approaches improve your bottom line? *Sets trapdoor* Maybe you're just not looking at the chart close enough, here let me demonstrate... *pulls out a presentation* End of the line. See you at the bottom!
"Work harder, not smarter." Ugh, that hurts the Scrooge McDuck fan in me so much. And, Foreman? Unless I've been *badly* misreading the Sellbot situation for, like, a decade, cutting more safety protocols is not the way to get back into the VP's good graces. Sigh. Always missing the point, these Cogs. That IS a really cool picture, though.
Oh Factory Foreman…there is better ways to get a golden parachute than slaving your employees!!
Someone should give The VP a Golden Parachute... He falls off that tower so much, may as well.
Even cogs have dreams... of golden parachutes, for some reason.
The Factory Foreman........
Wow, Mr. Forehead's really showing off the fruits of his labor with this invasion... well, just wait till I show him the fruits of MY labor... my fruit PIES!!! You wouldn't believe how long it took me to bake all these pies... 3,000 of them, to be exact!... Uh, make that 2,999... 2,998... 2,997... 2,996... boy, my doodle sure is hungry. I don't blame him, heh, they sure are scrumptious! Anyway, happy belated Labor Day!
I gotta say, this thumbnail looks SO cool! Probably one of the best ones you've done. Great job, TTR! Legendary work.
Sir, you do not understand what "Labor Day" is for. I've beaten you once. I'll beat you again. My mind is for knowledge, not for corporate drudgery. And, um, by the way... POWER TO THE UNIONS!!!!
whens the mega invasion.
haha hey foreman