Oh, WOE is me! BEHOLD, Toontown -- it is I, Detective Dirge, one most plagued by DREADFUL knowledge and mysteries of the land! What does it all mean? Boxes of juke, Districts of safes… and just WHAT, exactly, is a ‘Diss cord?’ Unlike the other duck detective, Samantha Spade, I have a very UNserious way of going about my detective work. Allow me, myself, and I guide you through unpacking this most UNSCRUPULOUS mystery -- the Most Mysterious 3.5.0 Update!

Admittedly, it’s not that mysterious… at all… I just added that part for DRAMATIC EFFECT! There is however, MUCH to unpack. Let us begin with the tale… of silence. Yes, once upon a case solved by yours truly, my path crossed upon the locale of a Toon estate. To my shock, I was greeted with nothing… but SILENCE. No music, not a note. The memory of this lack of music irks me to this day! A resident of the Melodyland cannot STAND for that! So, I SAT down, and wrote to the Cattlelog with plans to not only BRING Jukeboxes to the estate, but also add NEW music to them! You can pick up this brand-new rental in your Cattlelog -- along with the other brand-new rental, Beach Balls! I realized that Toons don’t just want TUNES, they want more fun, and what’s more fun than even more rentals? In fact, fear not about choosing between them: you may now have multiple rentals at once!

Now let us turn the page to the next tale, as that was only ONE of the many in this (not very) mysterious update! I was recently tipped off about a PLOT being put together in Cashbot HQ. You see, the C.F.O. hasn't had much heat put on him since Operation: Crash Cashbot Headquarters, so he’s been up to ALL kinds of nonsense. Documents I snatched directly from the Cashbot Vault reveal that the Cashbots have been MEDDLING with our safes -- safe and super-safe Districts as you knew them are no more! Thankfully, I alerted Toon Hall JUST in time, and they’re implementing a replacement as we speak! From now on, some safe Districts will NOT contain any invasions, and some will NOT contain any events. This also makes Toontown a bit SAFE-r for new Toons, which is a win. Is this some sort of CONSPIRACY by the Cogs to make things easier for us Toons? 

Next, I turned my suspicion to Lawbot HQ. As far as I know, that C.J. is just SITTING THERE all day… What’s REALLY going on behind the scenes, though? As it turns out… not much. Retrying Bumpy Bumblebehr OVER and OVER again seems to take up all his time… Other than that, Ambulance Chasers recently got a pay cut, meaning SUBSTANTIALLY less crashes -- in Cog HQs and Facilities, of course! My little birdie tells me this accounts for about 79% of all crashes in Cog Facilities. They’ll NEVER be able to stop us from infiltrating their headquarters at this point!

And at long last, it’s the last piece of this 3.5.0 puzzle -- BEHOLD! The Rich Presence of Discord! My intel indicates that if you have Discord Integration enabled in your settings, Discord’s Rich Presence will now show more detail on your account! BUT! That isn’t what’s interesting here. As it turns out, you can now use Discord to invite Toons to your Boarding Groups AND your estate -- they don’t even have to be on your Friends List! Joining something on Discord will also teleport you DIRECTLY to the group or estate you’re joining!

I’ve ALMOST cracked this case… I just need a few more seconds… YES, it’s all coming to me now! All of this can only mean one thing -- this update is packed with some brand-new features that are sure to RAMP UP the FUN you’re having during this Cartoonival season! Be sure to check out the patch notes below for the full scoop. As for me, though… I’ve got more work to do. There’s ALWAYS more work to do in the streets of this town. Until next time, Toontown -- it’s back into the shadows for me. And remember, I may be Zither Here Nor There… but I am ALWAYS everywhere.

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