Snail Mail Nails Sales Deliveries on Black Friday
Posted by S. Cargo on November 29, 2024 at 2:00 PM
Lobster Chair? Check! Caller-Hauler? Check! Vase?
SMASH
Oopsie daisy. Who was that for? …Flippy?! Um… Can someone get the glue?
Yooo! How's it hangin'? If you're looking for a missing package, wait riiiight there, homie. I've got like, hundreds of 'em in the sorting room and deliveries have been kinda sluggish today, 'cause of Clarabelle's Annual Black Friday Sale. Oh! That's whatchu wanted to talk about? Bet!
This year, I'm helping out ol' Pete hand-deliver Clarabelle's good vibes, 'cause last time, the poor dude was up to his neck in packages! Yeahhhh, Snail Mail can't push out deliveries as quick as Petey's place, but we're gettin' there! Speedy ain't my name for nothing! Yeah man, the name's Speedy Cargo. Don't look so surprised…
If you want the deets on the Black Friday sale, lemme give 'em to you, bud! Clarabelle's offering you folks a pretty sweeeeet deal: 25% off ALL of her goods! The sale lasts a rad nine days as well, starting today and ending on the 7th of December. That's in ages, man!
Alrighto, this humble dog's gotta get deliverin' before Clarabelle sends over even more stuff. Snail Mail used to boast a delivery rate of 3.64 packages an hour and that great number keeps droppin' and droppin'! So see ya, pals, I'm off!
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seems cool
I hope everyone enjoys some great Black Friday deals! And I hope Flippy's vase gets repaired! (And huge props to TTR for those amazing puns! S. Cargo, Speedy Cargo, Snail Mail, just... perfection. :D)
Can I volunteer to help? You must holding the "Shift" Key -whatever that means- and walking sloooooooowwwwllllyyy... But I'll sprint!