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Exploding with Laughter on July Fourth!

Posted by Shorty Fuse on July 4, 2024 at 2:00 PM

This is unacceptable. Unacceptable. DO YOU HEAR ME? PUT THAT REMOTE DOWN, SMOKEY JOE!

What do Mr. Hollywood's teeth have in common with a firework? An unnatural sparkle.

Whew… breathe in… and out. In… out… 

Sorry about that, Toons! That competitor of mine, Smokey Joe, has caused my fiery temper to flare up again. Y'see, it's the start of the summer fireworks today and I'm usually having a blast. But – my preparations have all gone up in smoke thanks to that devious Smokey Joe!

I opened The Kaboomery this morning and was met with a dazzling display of disaster! There were colorful fireworks everywhere, rockets and sparklers strewn across the floor, and boxes of fountains torn open. Then I noticed the aerials… not the firework kind. Antennae sticking out of MY fireworks! Someone had wired up all my fireworks to Cog Remote Controls and they were now telling jokes! The incessant noise just wouldn't stop! 

What happened when the Sellbot Factory hired a firework? Their sales skyrocketed. 

Why did the Short Change trade with a firework? To get more bang for their buck. 

Why did the Cog bring the firework to the meeting? To spark some enthusiasm…

Then I spotted a note stuck to one of the rockets:

Happy Fourth of July! This’ll get you bursting with giggles.
From: Smokey Joe!

It certainly did not! The Toon Troopers no longer want to use my fireworks for their display! Apparently, laughing fireworks don’t meet safety regulations. It makes me so MAD! 

And they've chosen Smokey Joe's used fireworks instead! OUTRAGEOUS! They'll be launching from July 4th 12:00 AM until July 7th 12:00AM (Toontown Time). If you're there, I'll take it to mean you support his sabotaging shenanigans (which is totally out of line!).

Grrr… You've sure pushed my buttons this time, Joe! Stop at once! IS THAT A DETONATE BUTTON?!


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Comet said on July 4, 2024 at 2:12 PM
I have my Trap gags maxed. Say the word and I'll send some lit TNT his way.

Miss Petunia Funnytoon said on July 4, 2024 at 3:39 PM
Those Smokey Joe jokes are pretty funny I'm still laughing over heels right now. Don't stop Smokey Joe you're jokes are super funny. :-)

Toonsworth said on July 4, 2024 at 4:42 PM
A Comedian Firework! Well, that is something new. That Sellbot Joke is simply smashing. I must say though, I have noticed an increase of Dynamite within The Factories. Those poor Sellbots can't watch there step, and before they know it, their laughing sky high. I'm surprised the whole Factory Complex doesn't just crumble down, like a crumpet dipped in warm tea, or in the Cog's case, Oil. In that case, allow me to bestow a joke for this wonderful day of the year... AHEM! What is a Toon Mouse's favorite snack? Big Cheese and Fire Crackers. Hohoho! Oh, I do crack myself up some days. Heh. Or perhaps I Fire Crack myself up. Haha, what a coincidence in phrasing. Good show. Well, I do hope to see you all at the festivities, and here's hoping all will be able to see it from the wonderful Sellbot Towers, to the grand trainyards of the Cashbots, to the cloudy skies of the golf courses over at the Bossbot Country Clubs, and I'll even wish for those over at the dreadful Courthouse of The Lawbots to see it from their cities too. Here's to the 4th! Happy 4th Of July!

Japanese Blossom said on July 5, 2024 at 3:59 AM
It's time to celebrate the most holiday of the year it's 4th of July!

Nicholas said on July 5, 2024 at 9:30 AM
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you for this update. Just put in the new playground already thank you. Keep being awesome.

Miss Midnight Whiskertoon said on July 5, 2024 at 10:23 AM
Here's couple of jokes i thought of: What did the 2 cats say? Together were Purrrrfect.. [get it a happy cat purr.] and What is a ducks favorite snack? Quackers and Cheese. [get it because ducks say quack]

Barget Wondersnout said on July 5, 2024 at 9:04 PM
I saw one of those fireworks zooming by. I thought I heard it tell a joke, but I couldn't quite understand it. It went over my head. (Annnd, cue the tomato throwing.) ;)

Rolling Crocodile said on July 5, 2024 at 9:18 PM
Haha, these jokes had me rolling on the floor! And down the stairs, and out the door, and off a cliff... ouch. Anyway, I even got a few jokes of my own! How do Cold Callers propose to their fiancees? They give them a ring! Haha! Why were the Short Changes looking for job applicants? They were short staffed! Hehe! Happy 4th (now 5th) of July! Hope you all are having a real blast!

Bananasnooker said on July 5, 2024 at 9:25 PM
Hey, what do you call an angry rabbit?... A hot cross bun! (insert rimshot here) Happy IndePUNdence Day, everybody!

Parm E. Sean said on July 8, 2024 at 8:13 AM
IRL, Fireworks are bad for the environment, noisy, and just bad all around. But in Toontown, Fireworks are great! Why's Shorty Fuse so mad?
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