From Rags To Riches: The Life of Flunky
Posted by Robust Magazine on September 17, 2020 at 2:00 PM
Welcome to Mingle Mingle, the number one segment for lucrative business tips directly from the top of the corporate ladder. Your host today will be none other than The Mingler -- me! Now, you may have heard that The Flunky has won the Top-Dog Cog poll that we sent out to the Toons. I can hardly believe it myself -- what's not to like about me? Regardless, for the next 24 hours, Version 2.0 Flunkies will be invading Toontown. Today, we’ll be interviewing our fine friend, the Flunky. All the way from the bottom of the corporate ladder, against all odds, he has made it here today to tell us his story. Let’s get on with the interview.
How does it feel to be the “top-dog” Cog? What does this position entail?
I’m receiving all kinds of benefits. Aside from a considerable raise in work hours, I’m on the cover of Robust and here for this interview. Honored to be here, really. Are my glasses fogging up?
I’ve just received word that your time off for this interview will be deducted from your paycheck.
Oh... Well, I’ve still got my shiny new Version 2.0 upgrades, and my v2.0 Flunky brethren are invading all over Toontown as we speak!
You mentioned your “Flunky brethren.” What makes you different from all the other Flunkies, in that you should be here today?
I’m the spunkiest Flunk, of course! Did you know the Toons modeled their “Flunk Trunk” after me? Not only am I spunkiest, but also most productive. I’ve shredded more papers than any other Cog in Cog Nation. Nothing against the other Flunkies, though. In fact, if you see my colleagues Flunky or Flunky, be sure to let them know I said hello. Wait, will I be receiving a deduction from my salary for that?
What is life as a Flunky like?
I remember my days as a pile of scrap metal in the factory like it was yesterday... Fresh off the assembly lines, I headed straight to Cog Nation University! I flunked out a day later. I then attended Cog Community College... and flunked out a day later. My lucky break came when a Big Cheese generously offered a position as an unpaid intern! I’ve worked for him ever since.
Should’ve stayed a pile of scrap metal.
Can you tell us your plans for after this interview so we can be done already?
Of course! See, I’m not actually partaking in the Mega-Invasion personally. I have a lot of upcoming events lined up, from my speech at the Clubhouse Banquet to co-hosting a very special show afterwards. In fact--
And that was Mingle Mingle! I’m sure you’ll hear lots more boring anecdotes from Flunky in the near future. Thank you for wasting your time here today -- now get back to work.
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Lets save toontown from these flunkies!
This is soo cool! I just got the notification! Congrats Flunky :)
Little Flunky finally goes big!
Omg we stan Flunky
............WHY DID THE FLUNKY WON............. LOAN SHARKS FOR THE WIN!!! WHO'S WITH ME!! HELP THE LOAN SHARKS WIN C'MON PPL VOTE FOR THE AWESOME LOANS OF SHARKS!!!!! :D
well it time for training my gags
He isn't Cog #1 on the Cog Gallery page of the Shtickerbook for no reason. Very well deserved!
*sigh* It was obvious this would happen, nevertheless, I congratulate Flunky :^)
I cracked up at the interview!!! Glad Flunkies won!
Flunkies are the best cog, change my mind.
We can love and support one (1) cog
Congratulations, Flunky. Now, time to get some low level gag training done.
Congratulations to Flunky the Spunky!
also we need to give flunky a raise. cogs use cogbucks right?
Great for training my gags :D Congrats Flunky! <3
I love Flunky.
i love you mr flunky
it was the first cog you battled. NOW ITS THE ONLY YOU WILL BATTLE
Don't be mean to him!!!
We stan one (1) cog and it is Flunky
YES!My man Flunky won!Epic! Nice to see other toons can appreciate a good flunk!
Well, the Mingler seems ready to finish the interview. Flunkies <3
Legal Eagles & Loan Sharks > all other cogs
That particular Flunky must be spared when we blow up the rest of the Cogs.
Congrats Flunky! (Watch out though I will stop your brethren)
Usually i go off pranking flunkies, but this one caught my eye! I'll be sure to spare him on the streets! ;) ~Eggward
Well, I can see why Flunky won. He's really underestimated and taken advantage of if you think about it. Interesting interview though!
Flunky? Classic. Legal Eagle for the win!!
we stan a flunky