From: Senior Vice President
To: Chairman
Cc: Chief Financial Officer, Chief Justice, Chief Executive Officer
Subject: Toon News, Inc.

Good afternoon, gentlemen. 

With our recent acquisition of “Toon News for the Amused, Incorporated” (henceforth referred to as “Toon News, Inc.”), productivity and sales have skyrocketed. This proposal has been months in the making and, as per the advice of the Legal Eagles, we decided that today is the optimal day to move forward with it. Unlike “Minglermail”, which the Minglers endlessly prattle on about, this platform allows us to use minimal resources while still effectively marketing to all of Toontown. I thank you all for your cooperation along the way.

There was some opposition, but thankfully the Mover & Shakers continue to report no sightings of the Toon Resistance. The previous owner of the building refused to accept any calls from our Telemarketers and, because of this, we sent our best Glad Handers to the site with a contract to sign away the building into our possession. Ms. Pages simply misunderstood our motives, and before long, “happily” obliged. Immediately, we dropped another one of our corporate offices in the shop’s place.

I have noticed that even Cogs from other departments are enjoying the new platform. The Yesmen are positively beaming with praise, and the Bloodsuckers have effectively used this new communication channel to remind Toons that we will be taking over the rest of their shops. Unfortunately, unlike the acquisition of Toon News, Inc., it appears that those Bloodsucker eviction notices may have been inadequately timed. I sent our top negotiator to a neighboring shop, only for the building to begin floating into the air in a wretched display of silliness before falling back down right onto the unfortunate Cog.

Despite some setbacks, our sales projection shows this may be our most productive year yet. I cannot wait to speak with you all further about our other various projects in the works. However, I must get back to a meeting now. 

Thank you for your cooperation,
Senior Vice President of Sales

P.S. My condolences to the Chief Justice. The trials and tribulations of having your wig stolen must be hard for you.