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Skyrocketing Sales!

Posted by Senior Vice President on April 1, 2020 at 2:00 PM

From: Senior Vice President
To: Chairman
Cc: Chief Financial Officer, Chief Justice, Chief Executive Officer
Subject: Toon News, Inc.


Good afternoon, gentlemen. 

With our recent acquisition of “Toon News for the Amused, Incorporated” (henceforth referred to as “Toon News, Inc.”), productivity and sales have skyrocketed. This proposal has been months in the making and, as per the advice of the Legal Eagles, we decided that today is the optimal day to move forward with it. Unlike “Minglermail”, which the Minglers endlessly prattle on about, this platform allows us to use minimal resources while still effectively marketing to all of Toontown. I thank you all for your cooperation along the way.


The Cogs acquire Toons News for the Amused!

There was some opposition, but thankfully the Mover & Shakers continue to report no sightings of the Toon Resistance. The previous owner of the building refused to accept any calls from our Telemarketers and, because of this, we sent our best Glad Handers to the site with a contract to sign away the building into our possession. Ms. Pages simply misunderstood our motives, and before long, “happily” obliged. Immediately, we dropped another one of our corporate offices in the shop’s place.

I have noticed that even Cogs from other departments are enjoying the new platform. The Yesmen are positively beaming with praise, and the Bloodsuckers have effectively used this new communication channel to remind Toons that we will be taking over the rest of their shops. Unfortunately, unlike the acquisition of Toon News, Inc., it appears that those Bloodsucker eviction notices may have been inadequately timed. I sent our top negotiator to a neighboring shop, only for the building to begin floating into the air in a wretched display of silliness before falling back down right onto the unfortunate Cog.

Despite some setbacks, our sales projection shows this may be our most productive year yet. I cannot wait to speak with you all further about our other various projects in the works. However, I must get back to a meeting now. 

Thank you for your cooperation,
Senior Vice President of Sales

P.S. My condolences to the Chief Justice. The trials and tribulations of having your wig stolen must be hard for you.

April 1, 2020 [ttr-live-v4.1.20]

General
• Upgraded Toontown’s version from v2.6.8 to v4.1.20. The future is well and truly now!
• To ensure that the servers remain stable, all districts are now SpeedChat-only.
• Added a limit of 500 Players online at once to avoid further server issues. Hurray for stable servers!

Gameplay
• Replaced the Trolley with a broken-down shuttle to Cog Nation. Better not be late to work!
• Golf balls will now swerve around the hole, putting those pesky pranksters out of a job.
• Removed all Gags from Kart Racing.

Audio & Visuals
• Adjusted the Chief Justice’s visual appearance to match the missing wig.
• Adjusted Bumpy Bumblebehr’s dialogue to appropriately say “Your Honorable Baldness” rather than “Your Honorable Blindness.”
• Added music to Toon Estates.

Feedback
• Due to strongly-worded feedback from our players, we have reverted all previously made changes.

Comments

Sorry! Comments are closed.

Little BD said on April 1, 2020 at 2:05 PM
I assume this is an April Fools prank for the update notes, funny TTR team!

Joe said on April 1, 2020 at 2:08 PM
OH NOO!!

Dewdrop and Bluebeary said on April 1, 2020 at 2:10 PM
I'll bet the cogs are having a FIELD day in their new OFFICE, but they'll be kicked out sooner than later. ;)

Good Ol' Knuckles McQuack said on April 1, 2020 at 2:15 PM
Where is the sillyness for today?

Pete Prosper said on April 1, 2020 at 2:19 PM
I guess you could say that the C.J. is blind with rage!

Mister J.C. said on April 1, 2020 at 2:24 PM
Ya know, i would've taken the CJ with the Missing Wig

Big Giggles Snifflehopper said on April 1, 2020 at 2:31 PM
Oh dear. We must get our forces into that building at once!

auntie said on April 1, 2020 at 2:46 PM
y'all almost got me

Lacey (PowerPuff) said on April 1, 2020 at 2:49 PM
APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!

Skipper Whiskerflip said on April 1, 2020 at 2:50 PM
Great post guys! So.... No more speedchat plus!?

Broadway Pixels said on April 1, 2020 at 3:16 PM
"Honorable Baldness" LOL that cracked me up.

Javeen said on April 1, 2020 at 3:34 PM
I love the changes. I can't wait to mingle with some bean counters now. :}

Dinklebearg said on April 1, 2020 at 3:40 PM
I love you Mr. VP

Cupcake said on April 1, 2020 at 3:42 PM
I kid you not, my heart literally dropped when I saw the 'stable server changes'. Speedchat only? Please no. Please. XD

Mr. Gary said on April 1, 2020 at 3:42 PM
LOL

Frost said on April 1, 2020 at 4:34 PM
Those update notes almost fooled me!

Sara said on April 1, 2020 at 4:51 PM
"removed gags from kart racing" oh so no difference then

Abby said on April 1, 2020 at 4:54 PM
It's all an April Fools Day Joke!

Little Curious Goob said on April 1, 2020 at 5:44 PM
Happy April Fool's Day to all... Have fun & stay safe! Wish we had fun TTR activities during this isolation period... would be lots of fun, what do ya think TTR?! Anyway, thanks for all you do! HAPPY SPRING EVERYONE! Enjoy! <3

Star Sparklemuffin said on April 1, 2020 at 5:59 PM
I was genuinely concerned -- ya got me!!

Azure Nightmare said on April 1, 2020 at 6:03 PM
And with that the April Fools Event starts...

Toony Man Guy Kid said on April 1, 2020 at 6:12 PM
haaaaaaa this is funny !!!!!

Summer said on April 1, 2020 at 6:29 PM
It would be hilarious if they actually removed the CJ's wig once, lol

Tanman said on April 1, 2020 at 6:41 PM
Ah yes, The only part of April Fools day I look forward to every year.

pizza kid said on April 1, 2020 at 6:50 PM
It's an april fools joke

Weird Curly Megaquack said on April 1, 2020 at 7:36 PM
Well, this was the best April Toons' present I could have gotten. YAY FOR THE VP! Also I am sooo doing a CJ this week just to see this. I'mma take some photos and blackmail him. XD

Goopy Rhinobouncer said on April 1, 2020 at 8:07 PM
Awww.... I really wished we could see what a shuttle to cog nation would look like!

Popcorn said on April 1, 2020 at 8:12 PM
Very funny. I already knew that it’s an April fools joke!

Paper Kirby said on April 1, 2020 at 8:38 PM
SpeedChat only ooof I don’t know if I could live with just preset messages (don’t worry I can ;))

Jessica said on April 1, 2020 at 8:44 PM
Definitely had to make sure the was still speed chat plus! Miss the days when toons would change shapes and make different animal sounds!

Crazy said on April 1, 2020 at 8:56 PM
you got me good

Toon said on April 1, 2020 at 9:06 PM
You know, I do like some Toon Estate music...

Dynamite Lemonboing said on April 1, 2020 at 9:16 PM
IT'S TOONY APRIL, FOOLS!!

Lefty Lemonz said on April 1, 2020 at 10:29 PM
Lol when I saw speedchat only I almost left the game

Dr. Who said on April 1, 2020 at 10:35 PM
But I want the cog nation trolley!!!

Prof. doof said on April 2, 2020 at 3:00 AM
Nice April fools joke

Doe Adeer said on April 2, 2020 at 3:57 AM
In other news my doodle is talking now...

Super Beary said on April 2, 2020 at 4:35 AM
To be honest, this update would be better than v2.6.8

Dianna said on April 2, 2020 at 8:48 AM
Haha, April Fools. Even if the cogs "news" was real, they'd be beaten up like one, two, three. We got this toons!

Sheriff Jake said on April 2, 2020 at 9:35 AM
Took me a while to realize that. XD
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