Let’s tighten up the graphics there… upload some custom kerfuffle to this address… EUREKA! I’m a genius! It's almost frightening sometimes.

Good heavens – I didn’t see you there, assistants. Bonnie Bubbles just delivered the most delightful jokes to my doorstep… I didn’t think she had it in her! She’s good with a gag, but she’s not one for Cogology, yes?



So many jokes, now uploaded to the Cog Joke Databases. Such beauty in their boring-ness. Yet still, a touch of comedy in each and every one. Hopefully, some Toon out there will get a chuckle out of these next time they use a Cog Remote Control in battle...

Come to think of it, Bonnie really isn’t one for Cogology. Where did she get such a knack for writing jokes? Aha, looks like somebody forgot to wipe the original metadata from these. Whoooo is responsible… wait, don’t tell me she roped my assistants into this!? Confounds it, she did, didn’t she!?

No matter. The jokes that all of my assistants wrote are simply stunning. Why, even I couldn’t have done it better myself! Let’s just punch in some commands to the G.I.M.M.I.C.K. to get a readout of the jokes I just uploaded...

Cackling Cog Jokes

Rainbow Mouse

Call: Why do Cogs like beekeepers?
Response: They generate lots of buzz.

Sir Pancake

Call: How do Skelecogs answer calls?
Response: On their skele-phone!

Pancake

Call: How does a Cog get a new silk suit?
Response: They update their soft-wear.

Mr. Smartypants

Call: Why don't Cogs work underground?
Response: They cave under pressure.

Silly Sellbot Jokes

Loopy Whiskers Rhinonerd

Call: Which Cog plays the most golf?
Response: The Factory Fore-man.

Quack Attack

Call: Why is Mr. Hollywood so famous?
Response: Because he's a Sell-ebrity!

Ms. Direction

Call: Why did the Cold Caller move away from the North Pole?
Response: His assets were frozen.

Gyro The Spinning Croc

Call: Why did Mr. Hollywood let himself get hit by the Grand Piano?
Response: He wanted a grand finale!

Aqua Cat

Call: What's the difference between a Telemarketer and a sales pitch?
Response: The sales pitch never works.

Darkius

Call: Why does no one hang around Cold Callers?
Response: They give everyone the Cold Shoulder.

Lady Toonibelle

Call: Why doesn't Mr. Hollywood like opera?
Response: It isn't his aria of expertise.

Molly Macmelon

Call: What do you call a clumsy Cog?
Response: A Cold Faller!

Cheesy Cashbot Jokes

Michael

Call: Why was the Cashbot not invited shopping? 
Response: Because he was a Tightwad.

Willow Flora

Call: Why did the Loan Shark cancel his meeting?
Response: He needed a-loan time.

Sherry

Call: Why did the Loan Shark eat lunch all alone?
Response: Because he was a loan-er.

Bing

Call: Why didn't the Cashbot have anyone to fight the Toons with?
Response: Because he was a Lone Shark.

Philip

Call: Why did the Loan Shark get fired?
Response: He chomped back to his boss.

Googlymoogly's Note: Can we give the Lone Sharks a break!? Gah, I mean Loan Sharks!

Weird Curly Megaquack

Call: Why couldn't the Tightwad get a job in the Bullion? 
Response: He wasn't in mint condition.

Ludicrous Lawbot Jokes

Lollipop Sparklepow

Call: I had the displeasure of working with a Bloodsucker.
Response: It was such a draining experience.

Courage

Call: What did the Big Wig wear to court? 
Response: A Law-suit.

Sheriff Jake

Call: How do Bloodsuckers improve customer interaction?
Response: They try not to "B Negative".

Good Ol' Bonzo Weaseltooth

Call: What does the Chief Justice always request with dinner?
Response: A good judge mint.

Spookz

Call: What is a Bloodsucker's favorite subject in Cog Nation University?
Response: A-"count"-ing.

Jennaboo

Call: Why don't Big Wigs visit Donald's Dock?
Response: Because the humidity makes his hair curl.

Trixie Jinxpaws

Call: Why do short-tempered Spin Doctors always go out of business?
Response: They don't have any patients.

Queen Jacky

Call: What should a Lawbot bring into work each morning?
Response: A law-suit and tie!

Bodacious Bossbot Jokes

Punchy Twiddleboing

Call: How do you make a deal with a Yesman?
Response: Give him an offer, he can't refuse!

Good ol' Bongo

Call: Why does everyone want to hire a Pencil Pusher to be their assistant?
Response: They make the perfect No.2.

Embero

Call: How did the Yesman take ownership of the building?
Response: In Deed.

Cool Mouse

Call: How did The Big Cheese pay for his new suit?
Response: He took out a provo-loan.

Dream Weaver

Call: Why is it hard to talk to a Micromanager?
Response: They are nothing but short with you.

Bearly Bearable

Call: Why does The Big Cheese get paid more?
Response: He does a cheddar job than the rest of the Cogs!

Upload complete!! These new jokes are now rolling out Toontown-wide. Try using a Cog Remote Control... or thirty of them, to hear these jokes for yourselves. I'm sure the Cogs will love to hear it too. Toodles!