Hark! The Herald Cold Caller Rings
Posted by Cold Caller on December 19, 2024 at 2:00 PM
Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but our sales are so delightful... And since the deal's soon to go, let us close, let us close, let us close...
Tell them to hold and put me on the line.
Allow me to break the ice, Toons. Holiday jingles, like the one you just heard, are the Senior Vice President’s latest big idea to boost us Cold Callers' sales for his winter marketing campaign. It’s... safe to say they're not delivering expected results. They create an icy tension on call and freeze the conversation, making you Toons hang up immediately! Naturally, I am very frost-rated with the situation.
My patience is on thin ice. So, we've made an executive decision to tactically pivot our marketing strategy. Yes, I will be contacting you Toons directly. From now until December 21st, 2:00PM (Toontown Time), we will lead a Version 2.0 Cold Caller Mega-Invasion to stall you in the streets and sell you on our limited edition holiday merchandise! You don’t want to miss out on our brand-new, best-selling, number-one hit marketing book releases, such as:
- Selling With Sleaze
- Mingling For Flunkies
- Behind The Smile: Memoirs of Mr. Hollywood
And please be reassured: your purchase will be of the least value possible. You'll need no money-back guarantees with the Sellbots' proven reputation!
You can't say no to these charges, Toontown. We’ll be in touch.
Comments
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Loving the spongebob reference
I gotta tell ya, Mr. Caller, I bought a few of these books, and they're surprisingly very useful! They cured my insomnia, filled up my empty wastebasket, and fixed my wobbly table! Plus, it gave me a chance to try out my brand-new shredder! Thanks for the books, Coldy! I'll remember to thank you with a fruitcake to the face. :)
Man, those Callers are so cold... A warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate oughta fix that! (ties a Cold Caller up in a blanket and throws some steaming hot chocolate in his face) KA-BOOM!
Ah, yes, a very merry Cold Caller invasion. Perfect to work those Gags. (And am I a bad Toon for wanting to read those books? Perhaps we should get some copies for the Toontown Library. For research purposes, of course. XD)
I've been working with a certain horse in Donald's Dock to investigate Bossbot technology, so I think it's fair to say "I've been expecting your call". Unfortunately for you, I think you'll be too busy cracking up and exploding to upsell me on anything, so I wouldn't count on your sales figures going up, sorry to say!
Oh get real, Scrooge. The last thing I want this season is to be involved in one of your little money-making ventures. Who'd want to read a book about Mr. Hollywood's teeth anyway?